is where God decided I had to have a pimple this week.

To Kraft Canada:

Hello,

The fact that Dad's Cookies are Bullfrog Powered was a large part of the reason I chose to purchase these cookies over competing products. I applaud you for taking steps to reduce your carbon footprint. However, if you are sincere about your environmental commitment, I would fervently encourage you to investigate alternative packaging methods that would allow your packaging to be more easily recycled. The polystyrene inner tray, for example, could easily be replaced with a polypropylene tray. My local recycling program in Vancouver will accept the latter but not the former, and I know that other municipalities in the rest of Canada have similar restrictions on polystyrene.

Thank you very much for your time and consideration,

Nori Maki.

Foods that I eat because they're good for me and not because I particularly enjoy them:

1. Oatmeal
2. Yogurt
3. Kale

I'm still not really getting kale. I'm admittedly a bit of a kale neophyte, but do the hippies actually like this vegetable because they think it's delicious? I keep reading shit like, "ZOMG kale is like the best evarrr!!!" I can't help but think I must be missing something. I mean, I'll eat it—I have it in at least two meals a week, actually—but it's not something I look forward to with the great anticipation that I have for, say, gai lan. I've also done the kale chip thing, and, no, despite what the Internet says, they don't taste "just like potato chips."

I used to wonder whether we're culturally conditioned to think that farts are funny or if they're inherently hilarious. Since I've had a child I can now state this with certainty: farts are inherently hilarious.

Is it odd that I feel a bit weirded out when I scratch a dog's leg-thumping spot? It just feels... inappropriate. Not just in an "Is the dog getting sexual gratification from this?" way but also in an "I would probably punch someone if he or she touched me in a way that made my limbs spasm uncontrollably" way. Especially if it was a stranger.

Cross-stitched Megan ambigram done:

A bit of a shit photo. Are we detecting a pattern here?

Anyway, I'm delivering it to C&M today. Hope they like it.

I made an elephant (or "effephant," as Lil' Dude calls it) based on this free Lion Brand Yarn pattern, with a couple of modifications.

My sweetie took one look at it and said, "Trunkus erectus"—which doesn't exactly inspire confidence. There are certainly some better elephant patterns out there, but this was only the second amigurumi I started, so I figured it would be an easy intro. Lil' Dude liked it and decided that Baby Joël had to have it, and that was adorable in itself.

One day at preschool and Lil' Dude's already gotten me sick.

The turtle is complete:

I used Basics Stop yarn by Lana Grossa, colour 21 the darker green and colour 11 the lighter stuff, and followed this free pattern on Lion Brand Yarn's website. The legs are way too close to each other and to the head, and I did a crap job of stitching on the head, but Lil' Dude still seems to like it.

"No, sweetie, that's a Shirley Temple, which is different from a dimple, which is also distinct from a nipple."

"Stop that, please. Why are you rubbing cheese on me?"

I had to get an affidavit notarized. The notary charged me $25 plus tax for checking my ID, signing the document, and sealing it—maybe a five-minute job. At first I thought, "What the fuck kind of racket is this?" And then I realized that there is no way you could ever pay me enough to do what a notary does, so I guess that counts for something.

"Sweetie, stop forking your dad."

"Look! Holes!"

"Yes, I see. It's not a good idea to put holes in your father."