ohhhhhhh...

day of übermisery...

i am so beyond exhausted. the house is empty and desolate and the kitchen is a sty.

i had intended on spending the day at home writing my thesis; i was -- and am -- feeling a bit under the weather. really really really lethargic and a twinge of a sore throat. it's at the point where i know that if i don't get a decent night's sleep, i'll be bedridden for days.

maybe it's my body's roundabout defence mechanism. if i get sick, i won't be able to go into an environment that i loathe with seething fury.

but then i get a nasty e-mail from the supervisor demanding that i am URGENTLY (yes, he used all caps) needed in the lab to try looking at my sample with the white light set-up, an experiment that i pretty much consider futile anyway.

i run for, and miss, the bus to campus.

i finally get to the lab to find that the postdocs are still setting up the experiment. my presence really wasn't so 'urgently' needed after all.

i then spend all afternoon and most of the evening trying to align a 100-micron pinhole to an out-of-focus image of a photonic crystal defect microcavity. without success, mind you. the supervisor unhelpfully makes a battery of suggestions to try, some of which are difficult, if not impossible, to execute. i am exasperated.

my eyes hurt, i am dizzy and i generally feel like the piece of poo that a piece of poo would have pooed.

i haven't eaten yet. at all. i could only stomach a glass of juice this morning before i headed out. now i am waiting for food to thaw so that i can restore my blood sugar level to something that doesn't make me feel like a bag of ass.

today is one of those days i wish i had a hug and someone to tuck me into bed and bring me tea.